Learn how to have an orgasm without actually ejaculating. Since ejaculation follows the orgasm by one or two seconds, it feels essentially the same. Orgasm and ejaculation can be separated and controlled by following these three practices:
1. Controlled breathing.
2. Strengthening the PC (pubococcygeus) muscle.
3. The stop/start method.
1. Not only will long, deep and controlled breathing keep your mind of your genitals and its sensations, it will help you slow down your heartbeat when you’re about to orgasm. Start practicing on your own by taking long, deep breaths and then, counting to three, exhaling as slowly as you can. It’s best to do this through the nose since air passes even slower this way.
2. While making love, when you are coming close to orgasm, your breathing will naturally start to speed up as you become more and more excited. Simply inhale, hold for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly (through the nose). Your body will become more relaxed and you will not ejaculate.
3. According to tantra, you can also control your breathing by “exchanging energy with your partner.” Keep your faces close together while you breathe in and she breathes out, and vice-versa.
4. If you feel you have to stop thrusting to delay ejaculation, then, by all means, stop, but keep your breathing rhythmic and slow. This will calm your body down quicker and you can resume the thrusting.
Strengthening the PC Muscles
1, Since these are the muscles one uses to stop the flow of urine, start practicing by stopping urine at mid stream. Start off just once during urination, then build up by stopping and going a few times.
2. Continue strengthening on your own by tightening the PC muscles several times a day and holding them for a few seconds each time. You’ll gradually build up the strength necessary to use those muscles to stop an orgasm.
3. Lift weights with your penis by giving yourself an erection, hanging a towel or wet washcloth over the end, and trying to lift.
4. Now for the love-making: clamp down on your PC muscles to stop yourself from ejaculating. Do this at the moment you feel an orgasm is about to occur, i.e., when you experience that familiar tingling sensation. You will orgasm without ejaculating, and as a result, stay hard.
The Stop/Start Method
1. Practice on your own by masturbating. Once you feel you are near ejaculating (AKA, the point of no return), pull back until the feeling subsides, and then start again. This way you build up your PC muscles, as well as desensitize your self so that you can last longer.
2. Practice this same approach while having sex. When you feel you are approaching the point of no return, stop what you are doing until the urge subsides. Then start again and stop again when you feel you are approaching orgasm. It may take a few tries to identify the point of no return and to stop before you reach it.
3. Once you reach the first initial orgasm, don’t stop. Continue but only at a pace that is only intense enough to help keep you hard. This can take many times to find the correct pace. You can also tell your partner to slow down or you can get on top so that you can control your movements.
There are also a few things than can be done manually to help a man orgasm without ejaculating. Each of the methods I’m about to describe may result in the man losing part of his erection, but it can be recovered quickly so that he can continue. When the man communicates that he is about to come: 1. The woman can form a “tripod” with her thumb, index and middle fingers, which she places around the tip of his penis and squeezes until the orgasm passes and his body relaxes; 2. The woman can take the palm of her hand and press down on the tip of his penis; 3. The man or woman can grip onto the base of his penis and hold, again until the orgasm passes.